Friendship: The Art of Relating to Others.
I recently heard the phrase “the art of relating to others,” which got me thinking about friendship. Maybe friendship is exactly that: the art of relating to others. It isn’t just about spending time together or having things in common. It’s about being there for each other, especially when things aren’t easy. I feel that friendship is the willingness to genuinely know another person. And I think one of the most important ingredients in that is curiosity. Being curious about who someone is, what makes them happy, what they’re passionate about, what they’re struggling with, as well as what makes them uniquely themselves.
Curiosity sounds like:
What makes you excited?
What are you struggling with right now?
What are you proud of?
What are you passionate about?
What have you been thinking about lately?
What are you looking forward to?
And sometimes it’s much simpler:
What books are you reading?
What podcasts are you listening to?
What are you watching online?
What music have you been listening to?
What are you nerding out about lately?
You don’t necessarily have to be interested in the subject itself. You can be interested because they’re interested in it. If a friend starts excitedly telling you about something you’ve never heard of, curiosity says: “I don’t know anything about this. Tell me why you love it.”
Friendship also requires compassion.
Being a good friend means sitting in the mud with someone and say, “I’m here for you. You don’t have to go through this alone.” Our instinct can be to try to pull them out of it. We want to fix things. We want to offer advice. We want to make the pain go away. But sometimes people don’t need us to fix anything.
Friendship requires generosity and understanding.
Generosity among friends is giving more than expected with your time, energy, patience and love. House sitting, watching pets, helping them move, giving rides, cooking or paying for food, along with giving them the benefit of the doubt. Understanding begins with listening. Not simply waiting for your turn to speak but actually trying to comprehend what the other person is trying to say. Communicating with curiosity rather than making assumptions. “Help me understand.”, “What was that experience like for you?” or “Tell me more.” Those small invitations can open the door to much deeper connections.
Friendship requires celebration.
A good friend doesn’t only show up when things are falling apart. They show up when things are going well, too. They celebrate the graduation and promotion. The new job and finished project. The personal milestone nobody else might understand. The little victory that may seem insignificant to everyone else but means everything to their friend. Because if something matters to someone you care about, it matters to you because it matters to them. Friendship isn’t about keeping score over who has accomplished more. But about being genuinely happy to see someone you care about grow and thrive.
It’s kindness.
It’s generosity.
It’s understanding.
It’s compassion.
It’s listening.
It’s curiosity.
It’s crying together.
It’s laughing together.
It’s being interested in the things that make someone light up.
It’s celebrating their victories, both big and small.
And perhaps most importantly, it’s recognizing that no matter how long you’ve known someone, there is always more to discover. Because people aren’t static. We change. We learn. We grow. Even our interests and dreams change, along with our fears. Sometimes we discover parts of ourselves we didn’t even know existed.
I don’t think friendship is simply saying, “I know you.” But It’s saying, “I want to keep knowing you.” And maybe that’s the real art of relating to others.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT PART FIVE