From a low mouse like perspective looking up at an open door, the scene begins with an enraged young woman entering the office. Only seeing the bottom of her black and white pleated skirt, heavily torn fishnet stockings and her loved but well-traveled faded black boots. The secretary frantically tries to stop her. “Miss! You can’t go in there!” But she ignores the baseless warnings and enters the office with authority though battered and bruised. Behind the colossal and commanding desk there is a predominant male figure which we can only hear and not see, welcoming her into his pristine and nearly blinding bright office. “Oh, Stephanie! It’s always a delight to see you. Why back so soon?” That’s when she begins her anger-filled rant with “You Motherfucker!” Listing countless unnecessary hardships and senseless acts of violence that she has endured, from childhood to her tragic shortened adult life. About halfway into her 6-minute tongue lashing, she says “Oh yeah, let’s not forget about being born in the wrong body of an oppressed minority in a racist and transphobic country. You’re so fucking funny!” As she continues venting at the top of her lungs, crying uncontrollably all the while. “You watched me— you watched us get the shit beaten out of us, constantly bullied, endlessly raped and molested, stripping us of any dignity, and YOU call it a test?!” The figure of importance behind the desk tells her all her needs were met and how there were hundreds of millions of people who wished they had a life that was so well taken care of. She quickly interrupts, “You arrogant prick! You don’t get it! You need to go back down there again and see what it’s like now!” He proudly says slowly, “You do — know who you’re talking to?” Sarcastically she replies, “I know full well who you are! With your numerous misguided cults and so-called devoted followers”. “Hey, let’s not be rude,” he replies defensively. She continues her tear-filled and rage filled outburst. Pacing back and forth with her bruised hands tightening into fist, only seeing her as she passes by the opening of the door. She then goes on to explain how she is sick of his lack of attention to “all the problems down there” pointing to a brightly lit blue object on his desk just out of view. She angrily states, “You don’t fucking give a shit! Not even a little.” She then pauses expecting him to answer. He calmly responds, “You know the rules. I can’t get involved.” She fiercely shouts, “Can’t get involved?” Pointing her finger at him, “This whole thing is YOUR perverted idea! You made the rules, then made a world that was designed to break them. You have the nerve to call it free will. It’s fucking entrapment!” Then continues with, “All the senseless wars, the preventable hunger, generational poverty, let’s not forget about the open racism, the demeaning layers of misogyny along with the hatred of anything different! And you can’t get involved? We thought You cared.”“I do” he quickly answers. Screaming at him, “You’re a fucking liar!” Trying to get control of the situation and shifting his seat forward, he tries offers her a better life than before. Cutting him off again, “You made me endure the absolute worst parts of humanity, and you dare ask if I want to “Try it again?” Like it’s some type of fucking cosmic carnival ride I can just hop back on and pretend it won’t break me again. No fucking way! I’m not going to play your stupid game anymore!” With both of her bloody hands, she clears everything off his neatly organized desk. As the contents of his desk hits the floor, a softball-sized glowing sphere falls off his desk and starts to roll out of his office. From the corner of her tear-filled eyes, she notices it rolling away, she briskly walks over and picks it up. He nervously says, “Be very careful with that. It is one of a kind and unbelievably fragile.” She responds, “Fuck You and Your pale blue dot!”With all her anger, rage, and frustration, she throws it at him. But being physically drained from screaming, crying along with having poor aim, it completely misses him. It crashes through the window behind him. She then turns away, grabs the door handle, slamming it behind her so hard that it breaks the stain glass window in the door. The colorful broken glass sparkles in the light as it falls and hits the floor. One of the larger pieces comes into view and you can see a name that was painted on the window. In a metallic gold papyrus font read, “God”.
“Location has energy and time has memory.”— Jay Shetty
No matter where we are, the energy my friends and I share when we are together comes from a place of genuine caring, kindness, and consideration. We listen to each of our worries, concerns, and fears. We also celebrate our promotions, graduations, birthdays, and each other. We also stay curious about each other’s lives, issues both big and small. We laugh, we play, and we share. Over the years, our time together has always produced unforgettable memories. From vast times we do dinner and a movie, the Jabba barge (inside joke), the fun of numerous game nights, our unique road trips, dressing up for Star Wars Day, and even a wedding. Our moments—big or small, loud or quiet—have woven themselves into the fabric of our shared story. I’m truly grateful for this circle of friendship that remains rooted in authenticity, joy, and mutual care. No matter where we go, the energy we’ve created will always live in the spaces we’ve filled—with laughter, love, and lasting connection.
As a consequence of my continuing spiritual journey, I feel compelled to question my love for things. Hopefully, this series will unearth some of the mysteries of my love affairs with a few simple questions.
Part Two: Photography
Why do you Love Photography?
For over 20 years, I’ve been deeply infatuated with the art of visual storytelling. The creating of images that tells a story along with being appealing and interesting. Since I started this love affair, I’ve been trying to capture such a set of images. A unique portfolio that would be ridiculously hard, extremely expensive, or impossible to duplicate. As pretentious as that sounds, it’s something that I feel compelled to work towards. But unfortunately, I can not say all of my images fall into that precise definition. I have come to accept it’s about enjoying the photographic journey and not its destination
When and why did it start?
It started back in the mid nineties after seeing a striking sunset image that my sister took. I remember the vibrant colors contrasted by the dark silhouettes of trees drawing my eye deeper and deeper into the image. This not only sparked my curiosity but also inspired me to pursue my own photographic passion. But it wasn’t until years later when I was somewhat financially stable before I started my love affair with photography. It was 2004 when I got my first DSLR and was so enthusiastic, taking pictures of anything and everything. I remember being so eager to learn as much as I could. I would hang out in the photography section of bookstores, being a sponge soaking up as much information as I could. Along with spending countless hours online browsing various photography websites and forums. Searching through pages and posts for any knowledge I thought was relevant and helpful to my development as a photographer.
How does it make you feel?
Like with anything that I love, photography brings me an abundance of joy and adds a considerable amount of meaning to my life. It hits differently than my love of aviation but it’s in the same emotional space. There’s a childish level of excitement I get every time I peek through my viewfinder. I’ve never had a bad experience behind my camera. That’s not to say I don’t bitch up shots. (Which I still do 🙂). But there’s a powerful attraction to photography that pulls me in. There have been many times, out of nowhere that I’ve felt the urge to do some photography. And without hesitation, I’ll get my gear and head out. I’ve come to realize that capturing photos is just a part of who I am.
What do you do to maintain and nurture your love for Photography?
After 20 years, I’m still willing and open to learning something new about my passion. If it is new processing software, shooting techniques or even a new camera system, the drive is still there. Along with my daily routine of scrolling through Flickr to see what other photographers are shooting. Doing so keeps my creative vision fresh and flexible to help me envision new images. Moreover, I’ve developed a shooting routine that keeps me disciplined and focused so I can “Shoot with intent” and not just aimlessly wonder around and take pictures. Nurturing and growing my passion for photography is a lifelong journey.
What do you love about photography most? And why
I love the rhythm of envisioning an idea for a photo, chasing after it for days and some cases years, then actually capturing it and then sharing it with others. Some ideas are crystal clear, where I know exactly what the final image will look like. Others are more abstract, and the outcomes are unknown until the moment I press the shutter. Its creating images (for my blog, posting on social media, or photos of my models) that deeply resonate with people that makes the challenge worth it.
To see my growing collection of photos, follow the link below
